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Every Time I Get on Facebook, Someone Else Just Got Engaged…

Just to start off, this post is NOT directed to, or triggered by, anyone in particular. But, if the title happens to pertain to you, congratulations! I wish both of you a long, loving life together, with years of happiness. This post, however, is for the rest of us out there who have graduated high school, finished college, and jumped into the real world without yet reaching the next of life’s logical checkboxes: getting married. Yep, for many of us young adults, seeing pictures of weddings, engagement announcements, (even dreaded interactions with family friends and relatives who always ask “are you seeing anyone yet?” instead of “how are you?”) generates feelings of internal uneasiness and unseen pressure. There’s a few reasons for that. One is certainly biological . . the ol’ body clock is always ready to remind us that time is ticking (that happens when you get old, too, by the way. And more people your age start passing on). But perhaps the biggest is societal . . the feeling of “what’s next?” If marriage isn’t on the foreseeable horizon (ahem, sans prospective “other half”), then what about my checkbox list?? Wait. What if there IS no checkbox list??? THAT can be quite a terrifying thought! It immediately gives the sense (to me, at least) of floundering in water, struggling to keep afloat, swimming with no end in sight. Lost. Deep down, though, you and I know better. You can’t rush or force a relationship. If you’re not sure if it’s right, guess what? It’s not! But then how can you know? And when will it “happen”? The first question is easy—you just know. Yeah, not a good answer, especially when you feel panicky about “checkboxes”; but that’s simply put and as close to reality as anyone can express it. The second question is easy too—you won’t know. Time, and His plan for you, is in God’s hands. When you can accept those two truths, truly and comfortably, then it’s easy to relax. Time marches on, but it’s not passing you by. And, having that precious time and being young and single is an incredible blessing! I have the time, NOW, to learn many new things, to try out new hobbies, to give back to the community, to build great friendships. Some people are getting engaged, married, and having babies at this time in their lives. Sometimes it seems like a large majority of people I know! (It isn’t). Celebrate with them, but celebrate your life too. We can’t compare timelines . . some of us will die at 60, some of us will live until we’re 98. Life is a gift for each of us, and it is unique. “For every thing there is a season, and a time for every matter under Heaven” (Ecclesiastes 3:1). If you choose to subscribe the “checkbox” version of life, the checkboxes don’t end. Go get married. Then have kids. Next you should probably work your butt off and collect a few promotions at work. And after your 401K has matured, then retire. Now, time for grandkids. Get off the carousel. Live life boldly, and don’t look back.

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